Donald Trump, eager to invade Greenland despite crippling bone spurs and impending tee times, is currently alive

Clearly understanding the history of Greenland, Donald Trump today decided to continue to offend both the indigenous people of Greenland, and the Norwegian decedents of the Vikings. Speaking about some mythical 'Golden Dome' in a post on his trash social media site, he rambled on: "The United States needs Greenland for the purpose of National Security. It is vital for the Golden Dome that we are building. NATO should be leading the way for us to get it.

"IF WE DON’T, RUSSIA OR CHINA WILL, AND THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Militarily, without the vast power of the United States, much of which I built during my first term, and am now bringing to a new and even higher level, NATO would not be an effective force or deterrent - Not even close! They know that, and so do I.

"NATO becomes far more formidable and effective with Greenland in the hands of the UNITED STATES. Anything less than that is unacceptable."

Donald Trump is currently ALIVE, and pissing off most of Europe, and a good chunk of the population of the United States.

Putin is happy with the actions of his carefully cultivated Agent Krasnov, though, so he's got that going for him.